I think I know what a pregnant elephant feels like. And not just down to the vast quantities of Green & Blacks that has been getting me through the past few days. After 22 months of gestation (or incubation, I’m not exactly sure of the difference) I’m about to give birth to my own baby and it promises to be just as agonising.
Perhaps it’s all part of the whole ‘pleasure/pain’ principle. The pain I seem to be constantly enduring (violins please......) and the pleasure I assume is only just around the corner, skipping along arm in arm with my long awaited handbag samples.
Not that it is anyone’s fault they haven’t arrived. Apart from mine, obviously. I have such a clear image of the beautiful bags I want to create that it’s taken all my tongue biting not to scream (a lot) when bits start to arrive and they’re absolutely NOT what I wanted. So it was with equal parts eagerness and trepidation that I took receipt of the cord for my beee-utiful bag straps. It arrived, as promised, on time, to budget and exactly as I’d asked. The final piece of the puzzle – only a few miles between me and the workshop and then a few days and the sample would be born! A result, you might think. But no......
Now I’m not sure whether you’re allowed to use VERY bad swear words in a blog so I’ll err on the side of caution. But suffice to say I was jolly angry (hrmmmmph) after I carefully placed this very expensive, made-to-order Italian cord on the roof of my car, took a phone call, forgot it was there and drove off. Upon realising my rather foolish (massive understatement) mistake, I raced back and of course, it wasn’t there. What was I thinking? This is London after all, not Dock Green. So yes. I lost THE WHOLE LOT. And yes, I know. I’m a complete idiot and I don’t deserve nice things if I can’t look after them (I’m sure I’ve heard that somewhere before – Mum?).
So I’m off to shout loudly at my laptop to avoid irrationally and mercilessly slaughtering the next living being that crosses my path - that wouldn't be very eco-friendly now, would it?.